Focus Led Spot
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For all teenagers. What do you think of my writing?
Allan smiled at his reflection in the pond. He raised his chin and ran a finger over the black spot at his neck.
The stalking traitor fulfilled his promise.
Allan got to his feet and walked towards the oak. He climbed it and perched on a branch. His eyesight failed to glimpse a movement under the shades of the forest.
“Time to use some talents,” He blinked twice then raised his lids. His hazel eyes glimmered with silvery light. For him, the whole world went luminous.
Bats fluttered from his back. He remained motionless; his eyes focused on the narrow pathway that led into the forest.
He raised a hand to the black spot with his face twitching in pain. The stalking traitor was on his way.
After rubbing the black spot, he bounced from the oak and marched once again towards the pond.
The earth emitted cold fumes; the birds cooed and shook in their nests; and a cloud shadowed the stars.
The stalking traitor was here.
F
It's OK I guess. (I'm 14 btw)
But personally, when I write I like to write as though I were a storyteller talking to real people. In other words, I avoid confusing or complicated "purple prose" text because it puts a lot of readers off. Just as long as it sounds OK aloud I think it is good.
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